What's Happening Today - May 21
What's Happening Today - May 21BOARDING OF DAVY JONES ANTICIPATED THIS EVENING
FELLOW SHELLBACKS,
THE TIME WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR IS AT HAND.
I HAVE RECENTLY BEEN INFORMED BY DAVY JONES, OUR GOOD FRIEND AND SCRIBE TO HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS KING NEPTUNUS REX, THAT HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS, KING OF THE SEVEN SEAS AND RULER OF THE RAGING MAIN, HAS BEEN MADE AWARE OF OUR APPROACH INTO THE EQUATORIAL WATERS OF HIS DOMAIN.
THROUGH HIS SERVANT DAVY JONES HE BIDS HIS SHELLBACK SONS AND DAUGHTERS WELCOME WITH FREE, CLEAR, UNOBSTRUCTED AND UNMOLESTED PASSAGE WITH THE FOLLOWING STIPULATION.
AS PER DAVY JONES:
"HIS HIGHNESS IS WELL AWARE THAT THE GOOD SHIP ATLANTIS IS NOT WITHOUT A HANDFUL OF UNDESIREABLES NOT FIT OR WORTHY FOR PASSAGE INTO HIS REALM OR TO BE CONSIDERED FIT FOR THE CREWING OF SEA GOING VESSELS IN THE BLUE WATER TRADE. HE HAS ORDERED ME TO INSTRUCT HIS SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF THE FOLLOWING, LESS PASSAGE BE DENIED AND YOU WILL HAVE NO ALTERNATIVE BUT TO POINT THE ATLANTIS BACK TO THE NORTHERN LATITUDES UNTIL SUCH TIME YOU DIS-EMBARK, DIS-EMBOWEL, OR DISCARD SAID LOWER LIFE FORMS."
"THERE ARE SOME 6 AND 10 WOGS ABOARD THE ATLANTIS AND THEY MUST BE ROOTED OUT OF THEIR SMELLY, DINGY, LAIRS AND BE MADE FIT FOR HIS HIGHNESS AND HIS COURT. THEY MUST BE MADE TO PROVE THEMSELVES WORTHY AND THEIR LOYALTY MUST BE TESTED TO LIMITS UNKNOWN BY LANDLUBBERS. THEY MUST BE MADE TO PAY THE PRICE WITH THE SWEAT OF THEIR BROW AND THE FLESH OFF THEIR BACKS. THEN AND ONLY THEN WILL HIS ROYAL HIGHNESS GRANT THE ATLANTIS PASSAGE TO HER FINAL DESTINATION."
"ON
THE MORNING OF THE MORROW, JUST AS SURE AS I WAS BORN ON THE
CREST OF A WAVE AND ROCKED IN THE CRADLE OF THE DEEP, SO TOO SHALL
THE WOGS BE BROUGHT TO THE MAIN DECK TO PROVE OF WHAT STOCK THEY
ARE MADE AND WHETHER THEY POSSESS WHAT IT TAKES FOR THE HONOR
AND PRIVILEGE OF BECOMING A SHELLBACK, SONS AND DAUGHTERS OF NEPTUNUS
REX."
"HIS HIGHNESS IS EXPECTED TO BOARD THE ATLANTIS AT 1400 HOURS AND AT 1500 HOURS THESE WOGS WILL BE CALLED OUT TO THE ARSE END OF THE GOOD SHIP ATLANTIS TO SEE WHERE THEY STAND, OF WHAT SALT THEY POSSESS AND PERFORM FOR THE KING, HIS FAMILY, AND HIS ROYAL COURT."
"SENIOR SHELLBACKS TAKE CHARGE AND AT 0800 HOURS MUSTER UP THESE WOGS, ALLOW THEM 15 MINUTES OF GRUEL, NO MORE, AND TURN THEM TO THE VESSEL MAKING HER CLEAN AND FIT FROM STEM TO STERN. KNOCK THEM OFF AT 1230 HOURS SO THAT THEY MAY PARTAKE IN THE GRUEL IF THEY MUST, AND THEREAFTER THEY SHALL TAKE TIME TO PREPARE THEIR SKITS AND ENTERTAINMENT IN ANTICIPATION OF THE ROYAL FAMILY."
"WOE TO THE SLACKERS AND UNRULY POLYWOGS"
"SO READY YOURSELVES FRIENDS AND ENEMIES ALIKE AND KNOW THIS, WHAT HAPPENS AT SEA, STAYS AT SEA.
CAPTAIN SILVA
FOR DAVY JONES, FOR HIS HIGHNESS NEPTUNUS REX
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